Excuse me for one minute….

while I vent and get something I’ve just realized off my chest!

My daughter and son-in-law just moved….to another country!  This makes me extremely sad because I have no idea if it’s a permanent move or just a few years since I’ve heard both scenarios from them.  While I absolutely love that my daughter gets to experience the world and different cultures while she’s young, I don’t love the possibility of her living in another country permanently!  Her husband grew up there and has travelled quiet a bit, so he has already seen quiet a few different cultures.

Now, I know that when people say, “Go visit her”, “This is just a reason to go visit that country”, etc. they’re trying to be empathetic and help make me feel better, but it doesn’t!  In fact, it makes me even sadder!  Why?  Because it’s not like I can hop in my car, drive a few hours, and then knock on their door to visit.  I have a job; I have responsibilities; it costs a lot of money to travel to another country!  Hell, I’m still paying off the credit card for our visit to Germany for their wedding last year!!  I never thought about how patronizing it was to tell someone to just “go visit” a loved one when they moved away….until now!  I get it now and I don’t think I’ll ever say that to someone again (unless they really do move just a few hours away and it is possible to visit often)!

As if their move wasn’t bad enough, our new neighbors had a party the following day and my husband had already said we would attend.  That night was a dinner for one of my very best friend’s birthday as well.  I REALLY didn’t want to walk across the street to the new neighbor’s house, but I was looking forward to seeing my two best friends to celebrate, laugh, vent, and cry!  Then my husband did it!  As I was walking through the room to sit down and put my shoes on, he asks, “What’s wrong?”  My mind really didn’t comprehend the words my ears just heard so I replied, “What did you just ask?!”  “What’s wrong?” he asked again.  I looked at this man that I love so dearly and said, “You’re kidding, right?  You seriously don’t know what’s wrong with me?”  Clueless replies, “No, I have no idea what’s wrong with you.”  With that, I looked him in the eyes and said, “You’ve GOT to be kidding me!!” and walked away!

Without saying a word to him, I walked out the door and started down the driveway to go to the neighbor’s house.  I hear, “Are you going to wait for me?!” behind me and it’s all I can do to keep my mouth shut, head facing forward, and tears from flowing!  We spend a couple hours at the neighbor’s house before my other best friend gets to our house to leave and meet the birthday girl for our planned dinner.

Dinner was a welcome relief!  I made Clueless drive because I planned on having a drink and I refuse to drink after even one…and I’m a “cheap drunk” since it’s so rare that I do drink!  I didn’t tell my BFFs about the comment Clueless made earlier since he was sitting right next to me and they already knew NOT to talk about my daughter moving away, so we focused on the birthday girl and had a very nice evening!  Two drinks later, I’m giggling like an idiot and feeling no pain.  Dinner was great, but spending some much-needed time with my BFFs was so much better!

My takeaway:  Don’t trivialize someone’s feelings when a loved one moves FAR away by telling them to “just go visit often” because it only intensifies the pain since they know they CAN’T “just go visit often”!!  Also, if the person that’s in so much pain is your spouse, don’t be a clueless twit!!  Tell them how sorry you are that they’re hurting and ask if there is anything you can do to help.  And for Pete’s sake, do NOT try to make them feel bad because of what they’re going through!  Just because you don’t agree with what they feel, it doesn’t give you the right to tell them their feeling are wrong and they shouldn’t feel that way!  Don’t be “that” guy/girl/asshat!  Be the supportive spouse, have an open mind, and TRY to see things from their perspective for once!!

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Why?!!

Why is it that when I ask my husband for help on a simple project, he gets hung up on an unimportant detail, can’t drop it, and can’t help me because of that one insignificant item?!!

Here’s a perfect example of what I’m talking about…My son asked me if I would sell his washer and dryer that is currently sitting in our garage (he moved back home for a few months before heading off to military training for 6 months).  I told him that I would and promptly downloaded the Craigslist app to make it easier – plus I have some stuff I want to sell so it will be used again!  I took pictures of the washer and dryer, added a price in the ad, and then started to type a description.  This is where it starts going downhill!  I ask my husband for help with the description and read what I’ve typed so far.  I start with, “I’m selling a Maytag washer and Roper dryer for my son.” and continue from there.  This is the line that my husband can’t get past!

  • Husband: “Why are you saying that you’re selling them for your son?”
  • Me: “Because I am.”
  • Husband: “Why wouldn’t you just say that you’re selling them?”
  • Me: “Because I’m selling them for him and I don’t want to have to say that every time someone asks a question about them.”
  • Husband: “But why wouldn’t you just say that you’re selling them?”
  • Me: “Because I’m NOT selling them for me, I’m selling them for my son!”
  • Husband: “I don’t understand why you wouldn’t say that you’re selling them.”
  • Me: “I DID say that I’m selling them….for my son!”
  • Husband: “But what does….”
  • Me (interrupting this asinine line of questioning): “For God’s sake, IT DOESN’T MATTER and that’s NOT what I needed help with!!  Forget it because you can’t do a SIMPLE thing that I ask for help with!”

At this point, I’m ready to throat punch him so I have to just walk away before this escalates further than what it already has! I don’t know why he can’t get past little crap like that – crap that doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things.  It is beyond annoying when you ask someone to help you with something and they start trying to change everything you have already done, simply because THEY don’t like what you have already done…even if you are almost finished with the job and only need help with one word!

I love my husband, I truly do, but sometimes I want to punch him in the face and just walk into another room!  When those times (and those times are rare!) happen, I skip punching him anywhere and walk into another room!  LOL  I am fully aware that there are times that I piss him off to no end!  That is how relationships work – you piss each other off on occasion, but you do what is best for your relationship to deal with it and you move on.  For me, I vent, go to a different room (in a perfect world it would be my craft room to create TONS of things!), wait until my attitude changes and keep on truckin’!

Well hell, look at that – I feel better already and I haven’t even made it to my craft room! 🙂

Seriously?!! >_<

Today is Mother’s Day.  I woke up very early because I was hot and couldn’t get back to sleep, so I quietly came downstairs so that I wouldn’t wake up my husband from my tossing and turning!  After surfing the web for a few minutes, I started getting sleepy so I laid on the couch and went back to sleep for a few hours.  My husband woke up and quietly came downstairs without waking me up (which is a miracle in and of itself since he is NEVER quiet or cares if he wakes anyone while they’re sleeping)!  Once I woke up, I did a couple of things that I had been putting off, then headed to shower and get dressed…but the morning was gone and it was now 1:30 pm.

Even though it was later than I thought it would be when I got up, showered, and dressed, I still got dressed to go out and do something….because it’s Mother’s Day and my husband didn’t play golf since I reminded him!  The minutes, then hours ticked away – along with my good mood!  He fell asleep on the couch while I got bored and irritated!  I finally decided I had sat here long enough and I ran some errands.  He made no effort to move.

I did get a couple of things taken care of before our trip, but it really pisses me off that he made no effort to do anything to celebrate Mother’s Day!!  My son was here when I got back, so I did get to spend a couple of hours with him.  My daughter and her husband were here for her brother’s college graduation Saturday evening, so I got to see them yesterday.  That is a good thing – I absolutely love talking to my kids!!

Okay spouses, I’m going to give you a little advice here.  When it comes to a holiday celebrating your spouse….PLAN TO DO SOMETHING WITH THEM!!!  It shouldn’t be up to them to say, “I want to do this” or “Let’s do that” and it sure as hell should not be their responsibility to plan anything!!  If you want to earn “brownie points”, use your fuckin’ brain and celebrate your spouse!!

If you walk into a room and say, I got you something for Mother’s Day and her response is, “Oh!  You really did!” when she sees you holding a bag, that should be a big indicator that you’re doing it wrong!  I can tell you from experience that when you don’t bother doing something to spend time with them or celebrate them, they’re not gonna want to return that….well, I guess they are going to want to return that “favor” and not do a damn thing when it’s a holiday that celebrates you!!

So guys, don’t be a dumbass!!  Show your spouse how much you appreciate and love them and plan something!  It doesn’t have to be something extravagant and expensive, it just has to be something that they will enjoy doing AND that they didn’t have to plan or suggest!!

Birthdays vs. Once-In-a-Lifetime events

Today is my step-daughter’s birthday and she’s turning 30. It is also the night my son will be honored during the TATTOO ceremony for graduating cadets at University of North Georgia. We had committed to babysitting our granddaughter tonight so that her parents could go out to celebrate….then my son asks what our plans are & tells me about the ceremony. UGH!  Apparently, the ceremony was published as April 30th as a mistake. I immediately ask my husband if he can see if his daughter can check to see if her mom or someone else can babysit so that we can attend the TATTOO ceremony. Instead of saying he would, he replies, “It’s her birthday and we said we would babysit. If it wasn’t her birthday, I would say yes….but it’s her birthday!”

SERIOUSLY?!!  Birthdays are an annual event!  I am a HUGE proponent of celebrating the day your loved ones were born, but I also believe once-in-a-lifetime events take priority!  This is not a “his child vs. mine” thing….it’s a “what’s more important” thing, and being honored for your military/cadet/college accomplishments win that comparison hands down!

I believe that a person driving 3 hours with their 5 month-old puppy just so they can attend an event is an example of how important that event is!  People don’t generally drive that long for a birthday, unless it’s a really BIG number!

Why would you choose to ignore the huge accomplishments of one child just to make it easier on another….and asking that child to make a phone call or two is not a big inconvenience!  In my opinion, this is definitely sending a message to not only the kids, but also your wife!  You’re sending a clear messag that your wife and her kids will always come in second to your kids and what you want to do (don’t even get me started on golf right now!)!

IF you had asked your daughter to get another babysitter and no one was available when she tried, I wouldn’t have an issue at all because we didn’t know about the mistake when we agreed to babysit for her. Since you didn’t bother to ask her, I’m pissed and resent you for your decision now. No one wins when you pull this shit….especially because I just keep my mouth shut a lot of the time.

The bottom line here is to keep in mind that you need to decide what is more important….and it’s almost always the once-in-a-lifetime event!!

Hello world!

This is a new journey for me and I hope I don’t get lost on the way….I’ll most likely jump around and post random thoughts!  LOL

Welcome to “my world” and I hope you enjoy the journey while I ramble. 😉